I would just like to leave a thought of mine with you. Its not like I'm the first to think it, but I feel its worthy to write down.


You cannot make or convince someone to love you. Most of the time its not real. What is real is one coming to love without being nudged or without being convinced. Their heart was not won over by your words or reasons as to why one would should love you. Their heart came to it on its own.

In many ways, I believe that this is what God's love is like in its purist form. As humans, we cannot completely and unconditionally love someone. I'm not an expert, I have not done all of my research, but it is my understanding that God's heart didn't need winning over. It was there before we could do any harm.

I would like to learn how to love like that though. I mean, what a gift. I want to be kind and gentle and compassionate, yet someone that can be relied on. I would like to learn how to do this. I'm not perfect, I will never be able to be that all the time, I'm only human. But I would like to try.

I can feel myself changing. It is a good change, progression, not regression. I'm eager to learn more. However, I need to not get ahead of myself and try to fix everything at once. I still have issues with some subjects, and I have an issue with stubbornness. I don't like to be told what to do. But, I can feel things softening. I can feel a small glimmer of peace knowing that I have the Big Man in the Sky in my corner, loving me and protecting me. Despite religious organizations and people pushing me, I can feel myself coming to it on my own. Without nudging or forcing or convincing by earthly mediums.

Gah, I'm exhausted! I wish that I could have some simple, quiet times in my mind. Maybe I should take up meditation...